Where Do I Belong

Every time he asks for the keys it makes me cry.

Each time less. The reason for this is because each time he asks I feel he’s implying I don’t belong there. I don’t belong with him. Im not welcomed. I’m being reminded of it each time. And it hurts how easily he can say that to me without understanding the implication of his words. I continue to find a place where I do belong and am welcomed. Mainly within myself so I can carry that with me too. Perhaps that is my strong desire to be nomadic comes from. I used to believe I belonged with him. That was our family and we can carry that anywhere as long as we are together. He said these words to me and I believed him. It gave me strength and confidence so when he says I don’t belong there it was like tearing a part of me away. Like cutting off one of my arms. I now realize that i need to be more careful when k surrender myself to someone as to why they can truly provide for me not just what they wish to provide for me before I trust to belong with him again.